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The Jokes Thread!

#1 16-Oct, 2007 06:55 PM
Sahil
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Joined Date: 27 Jul 2007
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 824
Likes: 3

Here comes the official jokes thread. Any healthy, good-quality joke can be posted here.

Would be fantastic if joke has anything to do with cars. It's not a compulsary condition, though.


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#2 16-Oct, 2007 07:12 PM
Pankaj Prasad
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Joined Date: 29 Sep 2007
Location: Vadodara
Posts: 13623
Likes: 214

I suggest... We should post jokes/messages only, and should not discuss like we do on other threads.  Besides, though I know that everyone understands, it would still not be out of place to say here that we should post 'clean' jokes/messages only, as this is a public domain.

I suggest (again), we should not discuss on this thread, like we do on other threads, but only post jokes/messages one after the other.

Thanks & Cheers to all.




I'm basically from Bihar; relocated here in Gujarat for years, and am a banker by profession. I have owned Enfield Bullet 350CC for 24 years (1985-2009); Tata Indica Turbo for 6 years (2006-2012); Tata Manza Elan Quadrajet since 2012 to present; and Tata Hexa XT since Oct 2018.
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#3 16-Oct, 2007 07:25 PM
Sahil
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Joined Date: 27 Jul 2007
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 824
Likes: 3

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers: Please scroll down. The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that

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#4 16-Oct, 2007 07:33 PM
Sahil
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Joined Date: 27 Jul 2007
Location: New Delhi
Posts: 824
Likes: 3

God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go. "Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter. "No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God. "Well, how about Mercury?" "No, it's too hot there." "Okay," said St. Peter, "What about Earth?" "No," said God, "They're such horrible gossips. When I was there over 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're still talking about it."

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#5 16-Oct, 2007 09:28 PM
Pankaj Prasad
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Joined Date: 29 Sep 2007
Location: Vadodara
Posts: 13623
Likes: 214

A man was smoking an unlighted cigarette (he couldn't afford to light it). Another man asked: Why there's no smoke? Man replied: Idiot, this is a CNG  Cigarette.




I'm basically from Bihar; relocated here in Gujarat for years, and am a banker by profession. I have owned Enfield Bullet 350CC for 24 years (1985-2009); Tata Indica Turbo for 6 years (2006-2012); Tata Manza Elan Quadrajet since 2012 to present; and Tata Hexa XT since Oct 2018.
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#6 16-Oct, 2007 09:39 PM
Pankaj Prasad
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Joined Date: 29 Sep 2007
Location: Vadodara
Posts: 13623
Likes: 214

Yamraj to Laloo Prasad:  Laloo, now that you are dead, please be honest & tell me what you deserve; Heaven or Hell.  Laloo replied honestly: I deserve nothing but Hell.  So, he was sent to the Hell - the moment he entered the Hell, he realised that by mistake he had entered the Heaven.  He immediately returned to Yamraj & said: You sent me to Heaven by mistake. Yamraj replied:  No dear, it's Hell but you feel it's Heaven b'coz you are from Bihar.

(people from Bihar shouldn't take the joke otherwise - I myself am basically from Bihar)




I'm basically from Bihar; relocated here in Gujarat for years, and am a banker by profession. I have owned Enfield Bullet 350CC for 24 years (1985-2009); Tata Indica Turbo for 6 years (2006-2012); Tata Manza Elan Quadrajet since 2012 to present; and Tata Hexa XT since Oct 2018.
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#7 16-Oct, 2007 09:47 PM
Pankaj Prasad
Moderator
Joined Date: 29 Sep 2007
Location: Vadodara
Posts: 13623
Likes: 214

Laloo Prasad & a few other politicians when in Hell (on their death) were given telephone facility to talk with their family members (on the earth).  At the month end, other politicians approached Yamraj complaining that Laloo's telephone bill was nothing as compared to their's while he was the one who used the facility the most (talking to his huge family).  Yamraj replied: Don't be astonished. It's only b'coz local charges apply for Bihar.


I'm basically from Bihar; relocated here in Gujarat for years, and am a banker by profession. I have owned Enfield Bullet 350CC for 24 years (1985-2009); Tata Indica Turbo for 6 years (2006-2012); Tata Manza Elan Quadrajet since 2012 to present; and Tata Hexa XT since Oct 2018.
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#8 16-Oct, 2007 09:57 PM
Pankaj Prasad
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Joined Date: 29 Sep 2007
Location: Vadodara
Posts: 13623
Likes: 214

Santa: How do you tell the difference between psychiatrists & patients at a mental hospital? 

Banta: Patients are the ones who eventually get better & go home.




I'm basically from Bihar; relocated here in Gujarat for years, and am a banker by profession. I have owned Enfield Bullet 350CC for 24 years (1985-2009); Tata Indica Turbo for 6 years (2006-2012); Tata Manza Elan Quadrajet since 2012 to present; and Tata Hexa XT since Oct 2018.
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#9 16-Oct, 2007 10:01 PM
Pankaj Prasad
Moderator
Joined Date: 29 Sep 2007
Location: Vadodara
Posts: 13623
Likes: 214

Teacher: Bachcho, kasam khao kabhi cig/sharab nahi pioge, ladki nahi chedoge, desh ke liye jaan de doge.

Students:  De denge... De denge... aisi jaan ka karenge bhi kya?




I'm basically from Bihar; relocated here in Gujarat for years, and am a banker by profession. I have owned Enfield Bullet 350CC for 24 years (1985-2009); Tata Indica Turbo for 6 years (2006-2012); Tata Manza Elan Quadrajet since 2012 to present; and Tata Hexa XT since Oct 2018.
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#10 16-Oct, 2007 10:14 PM
Pankaj Prasad
Moderator
Joined Date: 29 Sep 2007
Location: Vadodara
Posts: 13623
Likes: 214

This is globalisation:

Princess Diana an English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, followed closely by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motocycles, treated by an American doctor using Brazilian medicine.  This message was created by an Indian on a Chinese phone smuggled by a Pakistani.




I'm basically from Bihar; relocated here in Gujarat for years, and am a banker by profession. I have owned Enfield Bullet 350CC for 24 years (1985-2009); Tata Indica Turbo for 6 years (2006-2012); Tata Manza Elan Quadrajet since 2012 to present; and Tata Hexa XT since Oct 2018.
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