Horn NOT OK Please

Today has been declared “No honking day” in Mumbai by the traffic department of the Mumbai police, as noise pollution also contributes to ill health. They have tied up with NGOs, automobile associations, schools and colleges to help spread awareness. Here’s our bit – we hope you have a quiet commute, at least for one day.

I play the guitar, and have joined like-minded people at times to have fun with music. This usually involves a drummer, a bassist and someone to caterwaul along with the others with the help of a microphone; a second guitarist is optional. Of course, this also involves quite high levels of sound, since we have to be able to hear ourselves over the drums. The enthusiasm makes us crank our amplifiers ever louder, which wouldn’t have been a problem if we were in a studio or a deserted place. However, life being what it is, we practice wherever we can, which is usually a residential area – and it eventually leads to us being either thrown out of the place or banned from playing there ever again.

This is something I can relate to – we’ve learnt in school that any unwanted sound is noise, and what may be music to me may be meaningless noise to you. What I cannot relate to, however, is that the same people that have banned us from playing rock music are the ones who watch movies at full volume on their television sets. These very people own cars that activate the anti-theft alarm when reverse gear is engaged; they will make it a point to back out of their parking spot at seven o’clock on a Sunday morning and they will most probably be the people who use their horns more than they do their brains.

I’m completely against horns, but cannot see a way to living without one because we have got so used to them that to NOT use the horn will mean certain disaster. I have had many near misses simply because my not honking was taken as permission to barge in front of me. I’ve to honk to ask the driver in front to move over when he’s supposed to be watching his mirrors and moving over when they get filled with the image of my car. I’ve to honk to let the driver in front know that he’s parked in the middle of the road, and that he needs to move. I’ve to honk to tell pedestrians to wait until I pass. Some people take this a step further – they honk to let the driver who cut them off know they’re displeased, they’ll honk to get someone’s attention so that they can say hello, and they’ll honk every few seconds out of pure reflex. I was on the road yesterday, and a driver in a hurry behind me kept honking even through there was heavy traffic and no chance of overtaking. Schools, hospitals, courts, none of them make a difference to the average road user. They blow their horns regardless, and with good reason; it helps avoid accidents.

The solutions are numerous: fine the noisy ones, give people better training while they’re learning, better road networks means less traffic snarls and road rage… I’m going to propose a new one: make the horn button metal, and every time it is used, give the driver a mild electric shock. See if that doesn’t reduce noise instantly! Jokes apart, YOU make the effort to stop honking. Yes, you who are reading this. Every time you’re honking, you’re giving someone the finger. Let the pedestrian cross the road. Let the person in front know you’re displeased by honking the horn just a little, and leave it at that. Make a conscious effort to make as little noise as possible and the world will be a better place, or at least a less noisy one, thanks to you.

As for my bunch of musicians, maybe we should play item numbers like they do late into the night for festivals, or ringtones like they do in every single public place – or better yet, ‘car reversing alarm system’ or ‘horn ok please’ tunes. No one seems to mind those, even at three in the morning in front of a hospital.