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The Jokes Thread!

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#31 04-Feb, 2008 12:08 AM
Pankaj Prasad
City: Bhavnagar




Kitne ajib baat hai, pati (husband) marne ke baad bhoot banta hai... lekin patni (wife), chudel ki chudel hi rahti hai.

No offence intended to the BETTER-halves

Total Posts: 4867
#32 12-Feb, 2008 08:09 PM
Shalini Pal
City: New Delhi
New Arrival




A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.

The policeman said, "Take that sheep to the zoo, now."

Next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again.

The policeman stops the guy and says, "What on earth are you doing with that sheep?"

The guy says, "What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and now I''m taking him to the movies."

Total Posts: 4
Last Updated: 12-Feb, 2008 08:10 PM, by Shalini Pal
#33 18-Feb, 2008 11:01 AM
Saroj Mahapatra
City: Jamshedpur
Best-seller




No offence meant........few on Valentines day

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.


Total Posts: 536
#34 18-Feb, 2008 11:01 AM
Saroj Mahapatra
City: Jamshedpur
Best-seller




Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
Total Posts: 536
#35 18-Feb, 2008 11:03 AM
Saroj Mahapatra
City: Jamshedpur
Best-seller




I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
.

I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Total Posts: 536
#36 18-Feb, 2008 11:04 AM
Saroj Mahapatra
City: Jamshedpur
Best-seller




I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Total Posts: 536
#37 18-Feb, 2008 11:17 AM
Pankaj Prasad
City: Bhavnagar




Husband & Wife both went to a hotel.  A girl smiled & said hello to the Husband.  Wife frowningly enquired who she was? 

The Husband annoyingly replied: Tum please dimaag kharab mat karo... abhi usko bhi batana hai tum kaun ho!

Total Posts: 4867
#38 18-Feb, 2008 11:33 AM
Saroj Mahapatra
City: Jamshedpur
Best-seller




Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that friends, is how it all works!

Total Posts: 536
#39 18-Feb, 2008 11:44 AM
Saroj Mahapatra
City: Jamshedpur
Best-seller




There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.

After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker.

About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled on shore and was declared the second place finisher.

Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied,

"I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms."

Total Posts: 536
#40 18-Feb, 2008 11:48 AM
Pankaj Prasad
City: Bhavnagar




Q: Explain digestive system.

A: It's a process that starts with the right hand & ends with the left.

Q: What is the chemical formula for water?

A: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O (H to O)

Q: Till when 2nd World War was fought?

A: From page no.26 to page no.43.

Q: Who was Bhagat Singh?

A: Ajay Devgun, Boby Deol, Manoj Kumar etc. etc.

Total Posts: 4867
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