The Jokes Thread!

With due respect---

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.

 A few days later he got this reply:

 "Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

 We are sorry to intimate you that you do not meet  our requirements. Please do not send any further  correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.

 Thanks"

 Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this  reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said:

 "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki  hum Amereeca mein naukri paa gaya hoon."

 Everyone was delighted.

 Laloo Prasad continued...... "Ab main aap sab ko  apnaa appointment   letter padkar sunaongaa - par letter angreeze main  hai - isliyen  saath-saath hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

 Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ..... Pyare Laloo Prasad  bhaiyya

 We are sorry ...... humse galti ho gayee

 to intimate you that .........aapko yeh batana hai ki

 You do not meet ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho

 our requirement ---- humko to zaroorat hai

 Please do not send any further correspondence ---- ab Letter vetter bhej ne ka   kaouno zaroorat nahee.

 No phone call ---- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai

 shall be entertained ---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

 Thanks ---- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyawaad

This post is edited to merge the 2 subsequent posts (same joke).

@Rishita, in case of need, you may type the post in Word (Font Verdana - Size 10) & copy/paste.

okay....another joke from my own parents !!....hahaha....one liner..its not from any book trust me......

a frn of mine asks my dad " Uncle....does aunty know how to drive "...

Dad---ya beta ..she knows it very well !!!!........ she drives us all Crazy !!!.....

hehehe... good Karan

Wife: Suniye Ji aapka dost galat ladki say shaadi kar raha hai. Aap usey Rokte kyun nahi?

Husband: Usne mujhe roka tha kya?

Santa: Yaar uth bhukamp aa raha hai, sara ghar hil raha hai.

Banta: Soja, soja.... ghar girega to makaan malik ka, hum to kirayedaar hai.

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."

Nobody seems to be in need of a good laugh???????

1)  An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt : "If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"

2)   Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that, One loves too much, And the other loves too many.

 
3)  Employee: Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company!

4)   What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams..!

5)  Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

6)  After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: “WE do have an opening for you..!”
Applicant: “What is it? “
Interviewer: “Its called the "door..!"

This post is edited to change the font & its size for better readability.

@Rishita, like I have stated before, you may, in case of need, first copy the entire text to Word... select the entire text > change the style as 'normal' > font as 'verdana' & its size as '10' > copy/paste it in the thread/post (I just did that, herein above).

Jokes apart…

During my school days… I was very naughty.  I was kicked out of my class quite often – rather, I was seldom allowed in the class. 

The popular joke on me those days was.... "Pankaj se jayada Pankaj ke father ki attendance hai" (he was so often called for). 

--------------

My wife is a fantastic cook (I've no option but to say so).

I only know to apply/smear butter (no cooking). 

I always 'butter' my wife.  When that fails, I butter the bread & have it.

"Today I was challaned by a cop for toxic emissions. The embarrasing part is I was not even in my car..."

Sardar in Bio Practical Exam -

Examiner -  See the Birds Leg n Tell its Name

Sardar: -  I dont Know

Examiner:- You are Fail , whats your name??

Sardar:- Now you see ma Leg and tell my name