The Jokes Thread!

Two Sardars bought two horses – one for each of them.  1^st Sardar cut the tail of one of the horses & said to the other (Sardar): The one with the tail is yours & the one without is mine.

A person played a prank & cut the tail of the other horse too. This time the 2^nd Sardar tied a belt to one of the horses & said to the other: The one with the belt is yours & the one without is mine.

The person played a prank again & cut the belt of the horse.  Both the Sardars got fed up.  1^st Sardar said: Forget it man, we’ll go by the colours of the horses – the black is yours & the white is mine.

Home Medical Remedy...
A man walks into his doctor's office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, "I can't talk!
Help me!"
The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he does as the doctor ordered.
The doctor quickly picked up a big book and whacks the man's thumb with it as hard as he could.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" the man yelled.
"Good, good," the doctor said. "Come back tomorrow and we'll work on the 'B'."

A man to his Sardar friend:  I just got this brand new Ford Ikon for my wife.

Sardar: Well... well, that's a great buy-back.

An angry Husband sent an SMS to his Father-in-Law:  "Your product not meeting with my requirements".

Father-in-Law replied smartly: " Warranty has expired. Manufacturer is not responsible".

How to allocate the right work to the right person?

Just place 100 bricks in a particular order in a room with a window.  Put all the candidates in the room & close the door.  Return after an hour & analyse/decide.....

• Those who are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts.
• Those re-counting, in Audit.
• Those who have messed-up, in Engineering.
• Those who have arranged the bricks in strange order, in Planning.
• Those who are throwing the bricks at each other, in Operations.
• Those who are sleeping, in Security.
• Those who have broken the bricks in to 2 pieces, in IT.
• Those sitting ideal, in Human Resources.
• Those who say they have tried different combinations but yet no brick has moved, in Sales.
• Those already left for the day, in Marketing.
• Those staring out of the window, in Strategic Planning.
• Those talking to each other without even moving a single brick, congratulate them & put them in Top Management.

A real life joke…

• An ace-shooter wins Gold Medal…. the Govt. pays/awards him Rs.1 crore plus.
• Another ace-shooter dies fighting terrorists… the Govt. pays/awards his family Rs.0.05 crore.

What an irony  

3 sardars were sleeping on 1 bed.  It was quite uncomfortable.  1 sardar got-off the bed & shifted to the sofa. 

The 2 sardars said… Aab jagh ho gayi, aaja palang pe.

• Galileo used to study in small lamp.
• Graham Bell used to study in candle light.
• Shakespeare used to study in street light.

Well, I don’t understand I thing…  Sale din me kya karte the?

A police caught a sardar kissing a girl. 

Police:  No problem but my turn next.

Sardar: Sir, I don’t mind but I’ve never kissed a policeman before.

Conversation between two people traveling in a train from Mumbai to Bangalore….

• Hello! How are you?
• Fine, thank you. And how about you?
• Same here, thanks. By the way, where do you belong to?
• Mumbai itself.  And you?
• Me too, Mumbai.  Where do you stay in Mumbai?
• Sunder Nagar Society, Goregaon.
• Well, I too stay there.
• Don’t tell me.  Which unit do you stay in?
• ‘L’ unit.
• That’s great. I too stay in ‘L’ Unit.
• Well, well…  Which building?
• Building No.3.
• My God! Don’t tell me – I too stay in building No.3.  How come…

Before they could proceed with the conversation, a 3^rd person, who was listening the conversation interestingly until now, intervened and said irritatingly… Well guys, it’s so surprising that you both stay in the same building & don’t know each other. It’s unbelievable - are you people joking?

One of them replied… Not joking – it’s a time pass. We stay in the same flat – we are brothers.